Becoming Mom

This is my first Mother’s Day. The most important role of my life, and it’s a dramatic one. This is still (mostly) a sewing blog, so I’ve sprinkled two cute projects into this post, but I’d also like to reflect on the last four months. If you’ll indulge me…

Before I had my daughter, I spent a lot of time scrolling Instagram. The algorithm quickly picked up that I was pregnant. Funny memes were replaced with baby milestones. Celebrity news was replaced with influencer moms. Honestly I was ok with it until I became a mom.

I saw so many joyful posts painting motherhood to be the single best thing in the whole world. As I sat in bed, in pain and in tears, I wondered what the heck they were talking about. Now, I wasn’t quite myself, but my feelings were valid. I’ll never forget one post where an influencer remarked, “I can’t believe I gave birth to my bestie.” Four months in and I’m finally able to string together my thoughts on this post.

At the time, I hardly felt like I gave birth to my bestie. Rather than finding joy in the sweet post, I felt angry and jealous. I gave birth to a human who I love more than anything in this world, but a bestie doesn’t scream at you while you’re changing her diaper (at least, I hope not). I marvel at her, I worry about her, I am overcome by emotion at the thought of her, but she isn’t my bestie — yet.

Now, as promised, here are two cute projects that I made in the early days of motherhood. Sewing brought me a type of comfort that I can’t really explain, but it could also have been the ridiculous fabric. How could you not feel joy looking at hula hooping bears and happy hippos?

If you’ve read any of my baby clothing posts, you already know where these patterns come from (Oh Me Oh My). I’m sure I’ll broaden my horizons one day, but today is not that day. I made both the dress and romper in 12-18 months, so she should fit them in a month. I didn’t expect her to wear 12-18 at 5 months — eek!

I am so obsessed with this romper. I let out an excited squeal every time I look at it (yes, every time) and I can only imagine how that will be magnified with my baby in it. Anyways, where were we? Motherhood:

Motherhood is so messy. It’s a million times harder than I thought it would be, but 100% worth it. Everything they say about forgetting the pain is true. I think back on the early days and remember watching Bridgeton in bed with my sleeping baby beside me. Even though those days were earth shattering and difficult, every day since has been better than the last. I’ve seen my baby grow and laugh and become a real little person before my eyes. She’s not yet my bestie, but she’s definitely my favourite person. That has to count for something, right?

Happy Mother’s Day, and happy sewing!

Jackie